I have noticed an explosion of videos on Youtube based on the subject of "Why Black Men are Dating Other Races". As everyone is entitled to their opinion, I will share mine and open the floor to your discussions and opinions.
1. Black women are loud.
2. Black women are ghetto.
3. Black women have bad attitudes.
4. Black women are too demanding.
5. Black women are materialistic.
6. Black women have loose morals
This is just a small list but the most common complaints that I have heard. The issues go so much deeper than, black women have bad attitudes. First of all I need to say that it is ignorant and narrow minded for someone to generalize a whole group of people based on the actions of a few. I do not agree with the statements listed above. My mother is none of those things, well okay she is loud, but that ensures that her voice is always heard. I have of course encountered black women who possessed those attributes but all black women do not. By the way there are women of other races who exhibit those same attributes. Also when a black woman is submissive then some black men say she is unattractive because she is weak. The when she is aggressive then she is all of the above. Ill explain that one later. First lets dissect that list.
The women whom share the attributes on that list are that way for a reason. It has less to do with them and more to do with ...... THE BLACK MAN.. ahhh..... dare I say. Although the travesty known as slavery has been abolished, its after effects are still very prevalent today. Slavery devastated the black family and sought to emasculate the black man in the eyes of our women. Our women having gone through the experience as well, did just what a woman is supposed to do, she stepped up and had our back! She supported us and instead of sitting at home and playing socialite like Becky, Suzie, and Sally, our women were out in the battlefield side by side working and trying to make a comfortable home for our family.
The black woman historically not only had the responsibility of raising her own family, but she also had to raise the children of the slave master and then postslavery she had to raise the children of the white family she worked for as a domsetic. Then she somehow found the strength to go home and do it all over again.
Little black girls are raised to be independent because she will need to have skills and know how to face the challenges of not only being black, but also being a woman. Its unfortunate, but its a reality that she needs to be independent because its not guaranteed that a black man will be there to help her. The same forces against her are also against him but tenfold. Job Discrimination, Racial profiling, Prison, Drugs, Intraracial Violence, are some of the things that face the black man daily.
It is bad enough that the process of institutionalized racism has trampled the black race and continues to do so. In addition to that there is an inbred inferiority complex. We have been told by the majority over and over that we can't do any better, we are destined to fail, we are relegated to perpetual mediocracy by nature of our design, and we are not worthy of anything outside of meanial jobs and basic means. The tragedy is that we have started to believe it and have become slaves to ourselves and we are our own worst enemy. Have you ever heard one black say to another "You are a nigger, just like me!", "You ain't no better than me, you're still just a nigger!" That is from the mouths of our OWN people.
Now we have some of our women degrading themselves like common whores for all the world to see, and our men trying to live up to a fictitious thug lifestyle which is perpetuated by trash programming on stations like BET, VH1, and MTV. the sadness in this is that it is the YOUNG black men and women doing this. the ones who have the media at their disposal to perpetuate positive messages and images but they choose to do the opposite. The messages they send are shake that ass girl, don't have any morals about yourself, be loose and have sex for recreation, smoke weed, do drugs, commit crimes, sell drugs to get out of the ghetto, practice vigilante violence, and don't cooperate with law enforcement when you see someone tearing down your own community. To me all these messages say hey y'all let's destroy ourselves!!!!!!!
All you have to do is pick up any mainstream rap album and listen to the lyrics. Some try to defend their lyrics by saying this is reality, this is what I see. Okay that is fine but its in the way you present it. Artists glorify it as the way to live, when they boast and brag about the material wealth they've gained from their fictionalized immoral and deviant exploits. The least they could do is tell these kids that it is not true. They also only present one side of the picture. When you have young impressionable children listening to your music, you DO have a social responsibility as an artist. there is freedom of speech, but with rights come responsibility and accountability On the flip side of that, parents should be aware of and control what their children are viewing and listening to and stop using the television to raise their children and function as a surrogate babysitter.
When you have black men treating women like sex objects, having sex with them and conceiving children, then leaving for the next thing shaking its ass, who has to pick up his slack? The black woman will. She will do as she was raised, and take the lead and do what is necessary to take care of her family in the absence of that man which she has already been prepared for. After repeating this cycle 2 -3- 4 times, these women become jaded by their experiences with black men and have a tendency to become bitter. Can you blame her? Her dad did it, or each man she dealt with has done it. It has happened to her aunts, her friends, and other black women she knows. So what example is she supposed to go by? Then he is no better because his dad treated his mom the same way, the men he's seen treat their women the same and it is considered being whipped or less of a man to be responsible and take care of his family. (according to all of the No shit type of men he has had as influences) Some of you may not agree but the number of fatherless black homes lends credence to this statement. How many of you grew up without your black father in the home or knew other who did ? Also- this is just a side statement. I think the most revolting thing that a black man can do is leave his own family and then go hook up with a woman with kids, then take care of her kids while neglecting his own. I think the punishment for that should be a firing squad .... How DARE YOU? Just as bad is a man who has a family and leaves that family then goes and starts another one and spends all his time with that family and all but forgets his other children. When you Divorce a spouse, YOU DO NOT DIVORCE YOUR CHILDREN. Its not their fault that you two adults couldnt get your shit together and get along enough to raise them like you were supposed to, why should they have to suffer?
Black men need to set examples and be responsible. That does not include having baby mommas all over the place, hanging on the stoop, using excuses to skirt responsibility, and leaving our women to do their part. Then on top of this type of track record, the men complain that the women are loud, aggressive, and have bad attitudes and it's because of this that they prefer to date white women. Thats a lie. You date another race because you want to it has nothing to do with black women. If she is loud, boisterous and has a bad attitude hell, I guess so look what you have done to her? You have forced her to do what you are supposed to. A woman can't raise her family and protect it without being assertive and aggressive which are masculine traits. Had she not had to play this role for centuries, then she would be more in line with the feminine characteristics that society has laid out. So when you see a woman like this, then dig deeper and find out WHY she is like that I guarantee there is a reason behind it!!
Women are emotional creatures. They will become intimate with a man who she feels secure with and feels will make a good mate for her. Men are aggressive and manipulating creatures. Men also have emotional balance as well as conscience. So a woman being a baby momma is not all her fault. In a LARGE percentage of the cases, the man she was with told her things that played on her emotions in order to get her to let her guard down. She trusted him and then found herself pregnant and alone. A woman won't be a baby momma if she gets a responsible man. A responsible man wouldn't want to place that type of burden on her nor would he want to degrade her status by making her an unwed mother. Women need to really evaluate the men they deal with and look long term. Thugs may be fun, but they can't provide security. Also most strong men are not thugs. Thugs are criminals and most thugs are not strong men. They are little insecure boys playing a role trying to fit into a hypermasculine mold which is expected of them.
I do believe that you have the right to date whomever you want. If you meet a white woman and fall in love with her, then you have the right to date her with no guilt. It is not a slap in the face of black women to date a white woman. If you are attracted to white women then that is what you are attracted to. The slap in the face to black women is when you criticize her and list negative generalizations about all black women in order to justify being with this other race. If you feel the need to explain yourself, or you feel guilt in your decision to date that person, then that screams that your reasons for dating them are less than sincere. When you love someone you are proud to date or be with them WITHOUT condition or EXPLANATION! Point blank. You don't have to tear a black woman down to justify your choice.
Also, when you are a responsible man who is secure with himself and his manhood, you don't take an aggressive or assertive woman as a threat. To a secure man an assertive woman is an asset because she has your back in protecting your family as well as you. Isn't it better to have two people fighting for you than just one? With you together as one, you have the power of TWO which is more formidable than one.
Also, when you step up and take the lead in your relationship, by being a responsible man, then the black woman will not feel the need to play the role of man and woman. She is then free to be a woman in all of it facets which compliment the man in all of his. When you are handling your business, then she can handle hers and it will work because it is designed to. You CANNOT expect a woman to be submissive to you when you can't even lead yourself and control your life as a responsible man. No one will follow a damn fool. Also note when I say lead, it does not mean control nor does it mean monopolize. Lead means to take the initiative. In order for a leader to exist, there has to be a follower so BOTH are crucially important and required. So a black woman holds as much importance as a black man in the relationship.
in contrast to the first list, I offer this list.
1. Black women are loyal
2. Black women are hard working
3. Black women are goal oriented
4. Black women will protect their home along with their man
5. Black women will not let their man do all the work, she will roll up her sleeves and work and fight right beside him
6. Black women will go the distance for a man who is responsible and respects her as his equal.
7. Black women are a beautiful assortment because they come in all colors, shapes, and sizes.
8. Black women LOVE Black Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. Black women know and can appreciate the history and plight of the black man, for they share the same experience.
10. Black women live in reality not a make belive world with a hear no evil, see no evil mentality. Realism is critical when preparing our children to go out into the world and SURVIVE.
